A Southern Hold

Well, I have come to realize in the last couple of days how much I truly miss living in the south, living in Texas to be exact.  When I first moved there, I was a little weary because I have never lived anywhere outside of Wisconsin.  I was also a little nervous because I am really bad at meeting new people.  In fact, if it weren't for my husband, I wouldn't have met some people down there that I consider lifelong friends, even family.  I never wanted to leave the house because I get too nervous!

It didn't take long for us to meet our neighbors on our street.  Actually, it was less than a week and we had pretty much met everybody!  It's completely true what they say about "southern hospitality".  I have never lived anywhere, where people are so kind, caring, and welcoming.  I miss living on a street where we all looked out for each other.  My husband works out of town a lot, and my neighbors knew that so it was nothing for them to come and check on me if a storm was coming, or to grab something at the store for me if they were already going, or even watching my kids while I ran an errand.  I miss the cookouts we would have nearly every weekend, the adults cooking and enjoying each others company while the kids played outside. It's literally the type of street that you hope you can raise your kids.  I mean, there were some downfalls, as far as crimes (nothing too serious thank the lord!) But all in all, it was the ideal neighborhood. 

The thing I miss the most though, is the dear friends I met while I was there.  I still keep in touch with most of them, and hope to continue to stay in touch with them for a long, long time!  I miss having so much to do, all of the activities they had in the area for the kids, and all of the sports that our kids were able to be a part of.  If I were offered a chance to move back to the South, even if it was somewhere besides Texas, I honestly believe that I would take it.  I mean, I LOVE Wisconsin.  It's a beautiful state with a ton of wildlife and all sorts of things to do outside with the kids.  It doesn't get unbearably hot (I won't talk about the cold lol!), and our family is here.  But there is just something about the South that tugs on my heart.  I can't quite point to what it is exactly, but it definitely has a hold on the girl!

Being Grateful...

The past week I have really been thinking about different ways that I can show and teach my kids how to be grateful.  I think my biggest fear is having children that feel entitled to everything.  My husband and I are fortunate enough to be able to provide our children with nice things and most things that they want.  I've heard from numerous people that my children "want for nothing."  After hearing this (which, was fairly recently), it made me start thinking and really paying attention to how my children react when they get a gift.  And sadly to say, I've realized that they are starting to feel entitled to things.  For instance, whenever we go to a store, whether it's a gas station, a grocery store, or a department store, they seem to think that they should get something.  I know that my husband and I are to blame for that.  We are not perfect and we like to buy our kids things.  I mean, seriously, what parent doesn't?  With that being said though, things are going to change.  My children will no longer be getting something every single time we go to a store.  I want them to appreciate the things that they do get instead of playing with a toy that they BEGGED for for a week, and then watching it sit in a closet. 

Now don't get me wrong, my children do work for some of the things that they get.  They have daily chores that they are responsible for and they earn money for doing their chores.  My son saved up enough of his own money to be able to buy an iPod Touch.  I was VERY proud of him for that.  I want them to understand that you have to work for the things you want in life, whether it's something materialistic OR something emotionally gratifying. 

There is a family that I have become very close to within the past two years, and to be honest, I consider the mother of this family to be one of my best friends.  This is the most appreciating family that I have EVER met.  I have commented to her numerous times about how grateful they all are!  Even her and her husband, they thank each other for the littelst things that I wouldn't even think of thanking my husband for!  This family has had a MAJOR influence on me and the way I want my relationship with my husband and children to be, and how I want our family to function.  Their little girls are some of the most polite children I have ever come across and they are truly grateful for everything.  I understand that gratitude is not something you are born with and that it is something learned and taught (and if you do it right, something taught at a young age.)  I must say that this family is doing it right because all of her girls are under the age of 10.  It's unbelievable to see chldren that have that much gratitude at such a young age. 

I hope to be able to instill gratitude upond my children the same way she has with hers.  I am currently looking into ways to teach this to my children and I'm SO excited to take this journey with them.  Also, I want to thank my friend Ashley, for showing me how to be grateful for even the small things and having SUCH an impact on every aspect of my life.  You really don't know how much your friendship means to me!

Kickin' My Own Butt...

So I have recently come to realize that I kick my own ass every single day.  It's like I have my own worst critic in the back of my head everyday, constantly criticizing every parenting, relationship, and school decision I make.  Why don't you play with your kids more instead of doing homework?  Why don't you clean the house more instead of playing with the kids?  Why aren't you doing homework instead of getting to bed early?  Why aren't you getting more sleep instead of doing your homework?

 It's like a vicious cycle that I can't seem to quit.  Part of me thinks it would be easier if I just got a job outside of the home....which I want to do very bad because I want to start using the skills that I have developed and my college education.  Then, the other part of me wants to stay home with the kids while they are still young and impressionable so I know that they are having good morals instilled in them and they aren't spending more time with the babysitter than their own parents.  What makes it even more difficult is the fact that I'm at home by myself with the kids most times.  So not only do I have to play Mom (and where all the hats that come with that role), but I also have to play Dad during the week, and be a college student as well.

     Every night, after I give my sweet babies a kiss and hug and get them all snug in their beds, I think about all of the things I "should have" done with them instead of what I did do that day.  I tell myself that I could have done this better, or done that better, or this could have waited or that, because they are only little for so long. I question every decision I make, every single day.  As I'm sure most mothers do.  I just have a really hard time dealing with it at the moment.  I didn't know being a mom could make you feel so much guilt every single day. 

  I never thought that being a mother was going to be easy, but I definitely did NOT think it was going to be this hard either, especially being a stay at home mom.  Being a mother is the most difficult job there is on this beautiful earth of ours, but it is definitely the most rewarding.  My kids make me happier than I have ever been.  They make me smile and laugh every single day, and I love being able to see the world from their perspective.  I just want them to grow up with open minds and open hearts, and I want to know that the way my husband and I are raising them is the right way.  I know there is no answer to that, and I'm sure we are doing a great job.  I just need to learn to not question my decisions so much and trust in myself that I am doing the best I can do, and being the best mom and wife I know how to be.